Clise’s Cornucopia- Strawberry Festival and other stuff

Here we are on Friday of West Virginia Strawberry Festival week. I hope everyone has had as much fun as I have had this week covering events, seeing people, and getting out of the office. It’s always nice to get out of the office for a while.

I’m looking forward to the grand feature parade. It may be my favorite part of the festival. Then again, I start thinking about all of the food vendors, exhibits and other great events and I’m suddenly not sure. It’s difficult to narrow it down to one favorite for me. Lucky for me I don’t have to pick just one thing out to claim as a favorite.

Speaking of favorites, I’ve been thinking about what my favorite potato chip is… it turns out I have different favorite chips for different foods. Baked potato chips for sub sandwiches. BBQ chips for chili. Sour cream chips with hot dogs. Salt and vinegar chips with fish and shrimp, obviously. Good old plain greasy chips with hamburgers straight off the grill.

In an 180 degree turn from chips to fitness, I’ve been getting more fit the past few weeks.

My doctor said walking would be good for me, so I’ve been walking a lot more lately. I have to tell you… it takes a lot out of a fella to walk more and more every day. Since the doctor says it’s good for me, my wife, Rebecca, has been strongly encouraging me to walk more. It’s difficult to say no. She is quite insistent on the matter of me walking more.

I can’t say I’m ready for a marathon or even a walk across town, but I’m getting there slowly but surely. I’d say if you see me laid out on the sidewalk like a landed trout…bring water and call my wife.

You ever have a friend who just leaves you wondering how they get by day to day? I have a friend named Bub. Bub is a grand conspiracy theorist. No theory is too small or too big to consider.

Obviously, he believes the moon landing is bogus.  He considers Tom Hanks’ movie Apollo 13 is a remake of a Hollywood movie filmed in secret only with better special effects.

Depending on the day of the week, the Earth could be flat, or it could be round. It depends on what he ate for breakfast that day, I think.

He believes that anything to do with eating healthy is a scam perpetrated by what he calls the “world government conspiracy.”

Apparently, the world government is an unknown, unseen entity that rules the world through a campaign of psychological manipulation. Mostly, he says, it is to take advantage of the “weak in mind.”

This secret government entity is also responsible for the loss of land lines, death of VHS tapes, and the reason we no longer have cassette tapes.

Bub also believes the secret government is responsible for the end of Saturday morning cartoons and why Count Chocula, Booberry and Frankenberry are only available around Halloween rather than year-round as nature intended.

He wants his MTV and he wants videos 24 hours a day on MTV. Apparently, nature also intended that to be a fact. All videos, all of the time.

That’s pretty much Bub in a nutshell.


More In